1 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,400 ♪ Terrible Tudors, Gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, Vile Victorians ♪ 2 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,000 ♪ Woeful Wars, Ferocious Fights Dingy Castles, Daring Knights ♪ 3 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,800 ♪ Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, Awful Egyptians ♪ 4 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:18,800 ♪ Vicious Vikings, Cruel Crime Punishments from ancient times ♪ 5 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,440 ♪ Roman, Rotten, Rank and ruthless Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless ♪ 6 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,040 ♪ Groovy Greeks, Reigning stages Mean and Measley Middle Ages ♪ 7 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:29,280 ♪ Gory Stories we do that And your host a talking rat ♪ 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,320 ♪ The past is no longer a mystery ♪ 9 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:37,480 ♪ Welcome to Horrible Histories! ♪ 10 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,000 [narrator] Smashing Saxons. 11 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:48,400 We Saxons believed our Gods were really tough, just like superheroes. 12 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:53,480 [groans] 13 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,280 [narrator] In an age of darkness. 14 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,200 [groans] 15 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,320 [laughs] 16 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,880 [narrator] A time of Saxon Gods, 17 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,400 [Saxon man 1] Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take you prisoner right now? 18 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,800 [groans] Good reason. 19 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,080 [narrator] Only one could unite them to save the day. 20 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,160 -I am Woden, Chief of all the Gods. -Oh okay. 21 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,880 I'm putting a team together. 22 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,680 -You'll only mess it up. -Probably. 23 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,640 -You need someone to save the day. -Definitely. 24 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:25,160 I'm putting a team together and I'd hate to do it without my pretty wife. 25 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:26,400 Let's go. 26 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,160 [narrator] Starring Tiw, God of war. 27 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,360 Thunor, God of thunder. 28 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,680 And Frige, God of fertility. 29 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,760 Apart they were worshipped, together, they became legend. 30 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,160 So what's this superhero team called Woden? 31 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,720 We are "Days of the week". 32 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,680 Sorry, what! We're gonna be "Days of the week"? 33 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:51,600 Yeah you know like, Tiw's day, Woden's day, Thunor's day, Frige's day. 34 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,560 And what are we meant to do exactly? 35 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,000 Nothing really, just look butch for the posters. 36 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:57,960 Tiw's day. 37 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,160 Woden's day. 38 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:00,440 Thunor's day. 39 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,680 Frige's day. 40 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,520 And Saturn's day. 41 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,720 Sorry! Do you mind, you're a Roman God, this is Saxon God week 42 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,360 only for Saxons. 43 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,720 Yeah well what about Moon day and Sun day? 44 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,800 Yeah we're a four day week team. 45 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,960 [narrator] Witness the incredible story of how the greatest Gods of the Saxon age 46 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,840 came together to become almost one week. -Weekdays assemble. -Some of. 47 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,280 Some of the weekdays assemble. 48 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,720 [heroic music playing] 49 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,440 It's true. Some Saxon Gods had a day of the week named after them. 50 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:37,640 But that's nothing! In China, we have a whole year named after us, yeah. 51 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,160 The year of the rat. [laughs] 52 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,560 The Saxons had lots of unusual gods 53 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,880 in fact they believed in all sorts of weird stuff. 54 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,440 [music playing] 55 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,920 -Morning Graham. -Oh hello Keith, how's tricks? 56 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,440 Oh fantastic, bumper crop this year. 57 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:59,480 Gonna be my best harvest ever I reckon, yours? 58 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,120 Well it's a little bit sparse if I'm honest, not a patch on yours. 59 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,560 Well you know what they say 60 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:07,440 the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence 61 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,600 unless you're me, 'cos that's not. [laughs] 62 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,920 I just don't understand it you know 63 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,240 I've ploughed it, I've watered it, nothing. 64 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,560 You tried charming it? 65 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,640 What you mean like paying it a compliment? Taking it out for a drink? 66 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:23,800 No, no actually charming it, performing a land ceremonies charm, yeah. 67 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,280 A blessing to make the ground fertile. Turned my farm around. 68 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,640 -Really? -Oh yeah, it's dead simple. 69 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,280 All you do is, dig a hole in every corner of your field. 70 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,400 Well that does sound very simple. 71 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,800 [Keith] Then you take a sample of every grass, herb 72 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,560 and leaf that's growing within the field 73 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,040 and mix it with milk from every cow in your herd. 74 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,120 And that's supposed to make the-- 75 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,800 [Keith] And then you add honey from every bee in your hive 76 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,640 mix that with holy water and pour the mixture into the holes 77 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,720 whilst singing an incantation, and then the Lord's prayer. 78 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,120 Our Father who art in heaven. 79 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,240 [Keith] And then take the dug up clumps of earth to the church 80 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,840 and get the priest to sing Mass to each one of them. 81 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,600 And then four crucifixes, write Matthew, Mark, Luke and John on them 82 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:06,120 place them in the holes, shout, grow! Nine times. 83 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,840 Grow, grow, grow, grow. 84 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,080 -[Keith] Say the Lord's prayer again. -Lord in heaven. 85 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,560 [Keith] Turn east, bow, say another prayer. 86 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:15,720 Hallowed be thy name. 87 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,839 [Keith] Turn around three times, lie on the ground, do a chant. 88 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,920 Stand up. Bless the plough, bless the seeds, dig a furrow 89 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,840 bake a cake, bless the cake, bury the cake and then bingo, 90 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:30,200 your field's fertile. Now you do that next time before you sow your seeds. 91 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,720 Seeds, of course, oh! 92 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,560 No wonder my crops weren't growing 93 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,880 I forgot to sow my seeds. What a muppet. 94 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,080 -You're such a numb brain. -Alright. 95 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,600 Right, I'm gonna finish this cake and then get sowing. 96 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,720 I don't suppose you've got a spare slice have you, 97 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,040 I can't remember where I buried mine. 98 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,360 [narrator] Slimy Stuarts. 99 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:59,440 [woman narrator] The great plague of London in 1665 killed about 100,000 people. 100 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,600 The grimy unsanitary conditions people lived in meant 101 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,440 the plague spread very quickly. 102 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,680 To avoid catching the disease, many rich Londoners fled the city. 103 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:12,640 [narrator] It's 1665 and historical grimefighters 104 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:16,040 Lou and Dave have been called to a property in Oxford. 105 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,160 Apparently there's a bit of a smell coming from this property 106 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,960 so Dave and I thought we'd try and track the problem down. 107 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,880 Woo, ho, ho, don't tell me, students? 108 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:32,440 No Stuarts, Charles II, hi, er, normally I live down in London 109 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,200 but there's this dreadful plague business going on there. 110 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:39,480 Ruining my parties, so I moved the royal court up here to Oxford. 111 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,840 Come on in, loving the outfits by the way. 112 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,720 [Lou] Oh thanks very much. Oh, don't bring that in mate. 113 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:47,480 Leave it out there. 114 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:53,120 [indistinct chattering, laughing] 115 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:57,960 Oh, would you look at this Dave, absolutely disgusting. 116 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,160 They're dropping food all over the place. 117 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,240 Talk about the stinking rich, this one hasn't had a bath in weeks. 118 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,400 Well baths are actually very bad for you, so. 119 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,960 -Says who? -Says my doctor. 120 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,000 Hello, I'm the Senior physician to the King 121 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:16,200 and I can confirm it's a well-known scientific fact. 122 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:20,480 [coughs] Bathing relaxes the muscles and er, it makes you dizzy 123 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,960 -and that is how you catch the Plague. -No it isn't, that's nonsense. Well I'm not taking any risks, that's why I've stopped having baths 124 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:32,760 I've, taken up smoking. And I'm wearing a dead toad around my neck. 125 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,280 Disgusting. 126 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,600 [laughing] 127 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:36,800 Dave and I... 128 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:41,800 That's human. Right, seriously, who's been dumping in the chimney place? 129 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,560 Well it certainly wasn't me, I use that corner. 130 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:45,680 Oh that's rank, 131 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,480 -at least I use the coal house. -The coal house? 132 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,560 Well it beats queuing up for the study, that's where everyone else goes. 133 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,360 Right that's it, everybody out. 134 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,720 Oh come on, don't be such a party pooper. 135 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,600 It's you who's the party pooper mate 136 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,720 leaving your little presents all over the place 137 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,280 I mean honestly, don't you know anything. 138 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,520 Being this unhygienic will only help spread the Plague. 139 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,120 -It doesn't matter anyway. -What do you mean, it doesn't matter? 140 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,240 We're moving back to London soon. 141 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,040 Come on everyone, party back at the Palace, yeah! 142 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,080 [cheering] 143 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,640 Oh, not you Dave. 144 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,880 Alright er, you're just gonna walk out and leave all your little piles of poo 145 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,040 for everyone else to clean up are you? 146 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,080 -Yeah. -You're an animal mate. 147 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:27,000 A party animal. [laughs] 148 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,400 Right come on then Dave 149 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,720 you best stop your nattering get your pooper scooper out and get going. 150 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,960 Dirty rotten Stuarts. 151 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,360 [narrator] Groovy Greeks. 152 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,920 [narrator] HH games presents. Ultimate city defender. 153 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,920 The Greek world faces a new threat. 154 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,720 Your mission is to save the ancient Greek colony of Syracuse from the up and coming power in the region known as, the Romans. 155 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,440 Remember the name, we're going to be big. 156 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,920 [game v/o] Select defender. Old man selected. 157 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,680 Good choice, I'm not just any old man, I'm Archimedes. 158 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,840 Greek mathematician and inventor. 159 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,360 "Brains not brawn", I always say. [laughs] 160 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,560 Let's see what you've got old man. [laughs] [game v/o] Select weapon. Giant mirror selected. 161 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,360 A mirror, what are you gonna do with that? 162 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,200 Scare me with my own reflection? 163 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,240 [game v/o] Round one, begin battle. 164 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:27,320 It's my new invention. The burning mirrors of Archimedes. 165 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,080 They reflect the rays of the hot Mediterranean sun 166 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,600 and focus them onto the sails of the Roman ships. 167 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,840 Oh right, that's what you're gonna do with it. 168 00:08:35,919 --> 00:08:39,039 Brains one, brawn nil. [laughs] 169 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,360 [game v/o] Round two. 170 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,200 Let's see what else you've got old man. 171 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,320 [game v/o] Select weapon. Giant crane selected. 172 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,600 A giant crane, how bad can that be? [laughs] 173 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,560 [Archimedes] I've come up with a sort of huge crane device 174 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,040 -to deal with enemy ships. -[groans] 175 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,000 I don't like to make a big deal about inventing it 176 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:04,040 so I've just called it, "The Claw of Archimedes". [laughs] 177 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,320 [game v/o] Congratulations. City defended. 178 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,880 -Yeah. Well we'll be back again. -Whatever. 179 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,200 [game v/o] Game over. 180 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:17,320 Have I told you about a device for moving water up into irrigation ditches? 181 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,360 -It's called "The Archimedes screw". -[game v/o] No really, game over. 182 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:26,280 I'll give you three guesses who invented it? [laughs] 183 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,600 It was me. 184 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,480 The Romans did eventually manage to get into Syracuse 185 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:34,920 and Archimedes was killed whilst working on a maths problem. 186 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,560 Roman plus sword equals death. 187 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:42,680 And here's the story of another famous Greek who came to a sticky end. [laughs] 188 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:49,080 -People of Delphi, I am Aesop. -[Greek man 1] Who? 189 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,920 -Aesop, famous fables writer. -[Greek man 2] No never heard of you. 190 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,960 What you've not heard the story about the hare and the tortoise? 191 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,760 The one with the race where tortoise ends up beating the hare about how speed is not always best? 192 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,040 -Not interested. -Alright anyway 193 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,840 I Aesop, famous fables writer, have been tasked by King Croesus 194 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,680 with distributing money to you, the people of Delphi 195 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,760 oh you're interested now isn't you. 196 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,040 Alright, no need to rush. 197 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,280 Remember the story of the hare and the tortoise. 198 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,200 Now that's snatching and you've had some. 199 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,800 -No I haven't? -Liar, don't you know 200 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,960 my story about the boy who cried wolf? 201 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,840 -Never heard of it. -It's a moral tale about 202 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,360 how liars get their just desserts. Come on! 203 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:26,080 Form an orderly queue. No you've definitely had some. 204 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,880 -No, I'm my identical twin brother. -Really? 205 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,960 Yeah, yeah, I'm a big fan of all your work Aesop 206 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:36,360 loved that one about the boy and the tortoise with the fish 207 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,880 and I wanna say grasshopper? 208 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,920 Nice try, you obviously haven't heard my story about the fox and the crow? 209 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,600 It's a moral tale about never trusting flatterers. 210 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,880 -[scoffs] -Honestly behave you lot 211 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,480 you've obviously not heard my story about the goose with the golden egg 212 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,360 it's a moral tale about greed. 213 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,600 No more money, you don't deserve it, you're all too greedy. 214 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,760 Have you ever heard the story 215 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,920 -about the fable writer and the cliff? -No it doesn't sound like one of mine 216 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,200 mine usually feature creatures of some sort. 217 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,800 It's a story about a highly annoying fable writer 218 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,960 who gets thrown off a cliff by an angry mob. 219 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,680 It's a moral tale about not annoying an angry mob. 220 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,000 No I, don't-- 221 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,200 You remember my story about the goose with the golden egg. 222 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,480 According to Greek historian, Herodotus 223 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,560 the people of Delphi threw Aesop off a cliff 224 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,120 but soon afterwards a plague hit Delphi. 225 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,160 So the moral of this tale actually turned out to be 226 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,000 don't throw a fable writer off a cliff. [laughs] 227 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,760 [narrator] Vile Victorians. 228 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,720 In Victorian times we had some odd ideas 229 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,160 about how to look your best, good day. 230 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:46,800 [music playing] 231 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:51,320 Oh my gosh Alexandra, you look really nice. 232 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,400 -Shut up. -No you do 233 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,440 you look really pale and pasty, is it natural? 234 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:01,080 -Lillian you're bang out of order. -Admit it, you must use fake no tan? 235 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,560 Well to be totally honest with you 236 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,160 from time to time I do top up my whiteness with some zinc oxide. 237 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,320 Shut up. 238 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,720 And I'll let you into another secret. These veins on the side of my forehead. 239 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,240 -Yeah. -Painted on with a brush. 240 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,240 -Shut up. -I know babe, amazing isn't it? 241 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,720 -They make my skin even paler. -Almost see-through? 242 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:18,840 Yeah babe. 243 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,160 Oh don't look now, Gertie's on her way. 244 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,320 That is well awkward, you know she's been courting that Lord Pelpera. 245 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,680 -I know babe, its bang out of order. -She knows I'm after him, he gets me. 246 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,200 They even went on a walk at the weekend without a chaperone. 247 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,680 -No. -She was showing an ankle. 248 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,760 -Oh shut up. -Oh watch out here she comes. 249 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:40,320 -Hello babe, you alright? -Huh! Oh my gosh! 250 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,960 Gertie, what happened to your face? 251 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,640 -You look well orange. -100%. 252 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:48,920 It's so embarrassing, I went for a walk in the sun and forgot my parasol. 253 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,000 Now just look at me. 254 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,320 -Suntan. -So vulgar. 255 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,920 You look well common babe. 256 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,960 Like you've been working outdoors. 257 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,440 I know, sobs. 258 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,960 You better shut yourself in a dark room until that tan goes away. 259 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,760 -[Gertie] Oh! [crying] -[Lilian laughs] 260 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,400 Oh my God, so funny. 261 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,320 It's so funny. 262 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,280 -Right let's have a drink to celebrate. -Cheers. 263 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,760 Ergh, ergh it tastes like vinegar. 264 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,120 Oh that's because it is vinegar. It makes your skin even paler. 265 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,200 So random. 266 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:26,320 It's true, posh Victorians used to frown on anyone with a suntan. 267 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:30,840 It was a sign of being a poor person who had to work outdoors. Hm. 268 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,440 I've got a great sun block. It's called fur. 269 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:39,320 Yes in Victorian times people liked to be properly covered 270 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,680 even when on the beach. 271 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,880 [music playing] 272 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,240 [narrator] It's 9am and the gentleman of the Victorian Beach Patrol 273 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:48,200 are ready for action. 274 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:51,320 And they won't have to wait long as Victorian bathing costumes 275 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,520 are extremely cumbersome and difficult to swim in. 276 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,080 Oh, oh, what's this? Someone's in trouble. 277 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,840 A cry for help and the men of the Victorian Beach Patrol spring into action. 278 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,600 A quick change into their streamline rescue clothes 279 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,000 is the first stage of the rescue. 280 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,240 The amazing Victorian Beach Patrol can get changed in a matter minutes. 281 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,360 25 minutes that is. 282 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,560 Now, appropriately dressed in their woolly Victorian swimwear 283 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,680 the Victorian Beach Patrol are ready to roll. 284 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,880 Roll their bathing box into the water of course. 285 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,840 It wouldn't be seemly just to walk into the sea. 286 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,320 What's this, it looks like the struggling swimmer 287 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,880 has managed to make it to the shore! 288 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,680 And the good news is, he looks healthy and full of life. 289 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:30,680 It looks like another success for the men of the Victorian Beach Patrol. 290 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,720 [narrator] Troublesome 20th Century. 291 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:40,440 The 1960's were groovy baby and one of the grooviest things to happen 292 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,680 and was in 1969 when man landed on the moon. 293 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,680 It was far out, really far out. 294 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,200 [music playing] 295 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,400 Hi, I'm Neil Armstrong and I'm here to tell you 296 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,520 the secret behind my remarkable weight loss. 297 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,040 It's being on the moon. 298 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:01,040 I went from being the weight of a normal man to weighing virtually nothing. 299 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,120 And now you can too. 300 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,960 [Neil] All you need to do is follow my unique Apollo 11 weight loss programme. 301 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,640 Here's me before landing on the moon, and here's me after. 302 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,920 An amazing 83% lighter. 303 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,200 Here's how it works. 304 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,160 The gravity on the moon is much less than the gravity on the earth. 305 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,560 Which means that when you walk on the moon you feel far, far lighter. 306 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:24,280 You'll be able to bound around like an overexcited kangaroo. Woo. 307 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:28,280 Here's what you'll need. A rocket, just like mine, The Saturn V. 308 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,800 It needs to be taller than a 36 storey building 309 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,360 and weigh about the same as 400 elephants. 310 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,280 When you first arrive on the surface of the moon 311 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,800 make sure you're the first person out of the lunar module. 312 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:41,520 If you're the first man on the moon, everyone will remember your name. 313 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:46,480 Take this guy, he came out second and his name is... it's gone. 314 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,640 Buzz, Buzz Aldrin. 315 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:52,120 -His name is Bass Alldrain. -Buzz Aldrin. 316 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,080 You see what I mean. 317 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,280 You also need something cool to say when you first walk on the moon. 318 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,840 I'd recommend something like this. 319 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:04,280 [Neil] That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. 320 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:09,160 Shouldn't it be, that's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind? 321 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:13,040 Well when you're the first man to walk on the moon, maybe you could try that. 322 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:16,760 Oh sorry my mistake, I was the first man on the moon, Bass. 323 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,720 Buzz. 324 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,560 And don't forget to plant your American flag. That'll really annoy the Ruskies. 325 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,680 Try my Apollo 11 weight loss programme. 326 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,120 -It's mine too. -It's not rocket science. 327 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,160 Technically it is. 328 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:32,480 -Who asked you Bass. -Buzz, Buzz, Buzz! 329 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,000 -Is there a wasp in there with you? -What? 330 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,760 He hates it when I say that. 331 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,240 [woman narrator] True or false. 332 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,240 The astronaut Alan Shepard Jr 333 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,160 delayed the launch of his space flight to go to the loo. 334 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,400 The answer is... 335 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,520 false. 336 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:52,360 They couldn’t delay the take-off so he weed in his space suit instead! 337 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:56,080 In the 1950's, landing on the moon had seemed impossible. 338 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,760 But then so had the struggle for black Americans to be treated equally. 339 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,800 It took a very brave woman to do something about that. 340 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:09,720 [music playing] 341 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,720 ♪ I'm Rosa Parks ♪ 342 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,880 ♪ My story marks ♪ 343 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,880 ♪ The first step towards civil rights ♪ 344 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,960 ♪ Racial inequality, American policy ♪ 345 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,839 ♪ Til I kicked off a fight ♪ 346 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,960 ♪ What act of mine left havoc to ensue? ♪ 347 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,240 ♪ How come I caused such fuss? ♪ 348 00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:30,120 ♪ What shocking behaviour did I do? ♪ 349 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,800 ♪ We-e-e-e-ll ♪ 350 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:35,880 ♪ I sat on a bus ♪ 351 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,000 ♪ -You sat on a bus? -I sat on a bus ♪ 352 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,520 ♪ You sat on a bus? ♪ 353 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,520 ♪ You wanna know why? ♪ 354 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:41,800 ♪ Go ahead tell us ♪ 355 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,000 ♪ -I sat on that bus -You sat on the bus ♪ 356 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,880 ♪ In the 50's all buses divided ♪ 357 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,080 ♪ Whites in front, black behind ♪ 358 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,200 ♪ You serious? ♪ 359 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,400 ♪ If the bus filled up ♪ 360 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,320 We had to give up our seats or We'd be fined ♪ 361 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,360 ♪ That's Ludi-cruss ♪ 362 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,320 ♪ I made a stand in my hometown ♪ 363 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,520 ♪ Montgomery, Alabama ♪ 364 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,680 ♪ That's danger-uss ♪ 365 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,360 ♪ Refused to stand for a white man ♪ 366 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,880 ♪ So they put me in the slammer ♪ 367 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,160 ♪ Discourte-uss! ♪ 368 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:09,920 ♪ December five, 1955 My trial notorious ♪ 369 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,360 ♪ Black people stood side by side ♪ 370 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:16,760 ♪ And no-o-o-o-o one! ♪ 371 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:17,880 ♪ Got on the bus ♪ 372 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,600 ♪ We stayed off the bus ♪ 373 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,040 ♪ -They stayed off the bus -We stayed off the bus ♪ 374 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,120 ♪ I meant busin-uss! ♪ 375 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,440 ♪ -She inspired us! -So they stayed off the bus ♪ 376 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:26,960 ♪ We stayed off the bus ♪ 377 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:32,000 ♪ We organised a boycott Of public transportation ♪ 378 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:36,920 ♪ To win R E S P E C T And force new legislation ♪ 379 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:41,920 ♪ Dreamed of the day The USA had no implementation ♪ 380 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,680 ♪ Of S E G R E G A T I O N ♪ 381 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,240 ♪ Spells segregation ♪ 382 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,960 ♪ From that day on we walked or cabbed ♪ 383 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,960 ♪ Led by Martin Luther King ♪ 384 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,080 ♪ Attacked by mobs, our houses bombed ♪ 385 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,520 ♪ Though peace was our thing ♪ 386 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,160 ♪ Our plight, it made the national news ♪ 387 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,840 ♪ Which was mighty strange ♪ 388 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:02,920 ♪ Mysteri-uss ♪ 389 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,640 ♪ When word reached the President ♪ 390 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,720 ♪ He had to make a change ♪ 391 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:07,720 ♪ Deliri-uss ♪ 392 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,080 ♪ One year on we'd finally won ♪ 393 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,280 ♪ A victory momen-tuss ♪ 394 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:18,880 ♪ The fight for national Civil Rights was begun ♪ 395 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,600 ♪ 'Cause I sat on a bus ♪ 396 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,480 ♪ -She sat on a bus -I sat on a bus ♪ 397 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,200 ♪ She sat on a bus ♪ 398 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,480 ♪ I sat on a bus ♪ 399 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,560 ♪ Got on the bus ♪ 400 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,840 ♪ -I sat on a bus -She sat on a bus ♪ 401 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,000 ♪ -I sat, I sat, I sat, I sat on the bus -Our story owes a ♪ 402 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,360 ♪ Huge debt to Rosa ♪ 403 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,160 ♪ -I sat, I sat, I sat on the bus -We all agree ♪ 404 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,880 ♪ -I sat on that bus -She made history ♪ 405 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:44,000 ♪ She sat on the bus ♪ 406 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,040 ♪ For all of us ♪ 407 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,560 ♪ -I sat on that bus -She sat on the bus ♪ 408 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,040 ♪ -I sat on the bus. Yeah! -She sat on the bus ♪ 409 00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:54,360 ♪ -I sat on the bus -On the bus ♪ 410 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,880 [narrator] Measly Middle Ages. 411 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,120 [Rose] Just come back safe darling, that's all I ask. 412 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,360 Alas that is a promise I cannot make my sweet Rose. 413 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,440 But I will fight bravely for you and think of you 414 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,120 every time I viciously hack an enemy soldier to pieces. 415 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,560 Huh, darling you say the sweetest things. 416 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,240 Rose, as a sign of my devotion to you 417 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,640 I shall not open this eye that you have kissed until the battle is won. 418 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,960 Oh! That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. 419 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,280 [music playing] 420 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:38,000 Right well, you understand this places me in quite a tricky situation. 421 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,200 To battle. 422 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:44,400 [battle horn playing] 423 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,360 -Oh, oh. -Oh, erm, my love? 424 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,400 No it's fine. 425 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:53,360 Next time, how about just a nice peck on the cheek, huh? [laughs] 426 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,400 -Take care sweetheart. -Oh! 427 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,320 [knight] It's alright, I'm okay. 428 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,560 There really was a Knight who went to battle with one eye closed 429 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,440 after it had been kissed by a lady. 430 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,960 Going off to fight often meant leaving England 431 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,160 and one man who was more than happy to do that was Richard I. 432 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,640 [narrator] And you join us here for the climax 433 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,320 of today's historic Coronation ceremony 434 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,920 which sees Richard Plantagenet crowned, King Richard I of England. 435 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:25,200 I hereby appoint you King Richard I, Ruler of the English. 436 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,360 [music playing] 437 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,040 Bonne, merci beaucoup, 438 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:33,000 merci le Bishop. I go home to France now, I leave this dump. 439 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,320 Dump your Majesty? Well we've just had the roof done. 440 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,200 Oh no, no, no not the Abbey, the country. 441 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,080 I cannot stand England, it's so cold and it's always raining. 442 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:44,960 And don't get me started on London 443 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:50,040 honestly I would sell it if I could find a buyer, who wants to buy London 444 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:53,560 although I should warn you it's in England. Ergh. 445 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,480 But Sire, you're the King of England. 446 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:00,480 Oui, oui and I love my loyal English subjects. 447 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:04,640 Every last taxpaying one of them. Come on cough up. 448 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:11,080 But the place itself, well let's just say it's no South of France. 449 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,960 You mean you only wanted England for the taxes? 450 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:19,400 And the wonderful food. [laughs] 451 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:20,640 I'm joking of course. 452 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,720 I'm in it for the money, you too Bishop let's see it 453 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,400 fighting these Crusades isn't cheap you know. 454 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,600 Which reminds me - I should be off to the Holy Land soon. 455 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:35,320 Who put a button in the collection plate, that's cheating? 456 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,960 This is for a good cause you know. 457 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,520 But if you're off crusading, who will tend to our affairs? 458 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:44,680 Don't worry, I will leave a suitable deputy in my place. Mother! 459 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:46,120 Oui. 460 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,480 I need you to look after England for a tiny little bit while I got off crusading. 461 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:54,160 Without me? But what will my baby boy do without his mamma. 462 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,840 I think I'll manage somehow. 463 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,240 Oh, and I've knitted a scarf for you. 464 00:22:58,320 --> 00:22:59,720 It's in the Middle East. 465 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:03,560 -Oh and I have some nice warm milk. -Mamma I'm 31. 466 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,720 You stop, stop. You have some dirt on your face. 467 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,640 No, no mamma. 468 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,560 Oh hah, hah. You're so embarrassing. 469 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:19,560 King Richard I is perhaps better known as Richard the Lionheart. 470 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:23,560 So called because he was a great warrior and military leader 471 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,800 and not because he actually had the heart of a lion. 472 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,920 Though that would have been cool though wouldn't it? Eh, eh, eh! 473 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,920 [narrator] Gorgeous Georgians. 474 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,040 Hi, I'm Johnny Toughnut 475 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:40,560 and I'm here to teach you how to survive in a hostile environment. 476 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,480 [music playing] 477 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,560 This week we've come to Georgian England 478 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:48,880 where in the towns and cities trouble lurks round every corner. Let's go. 479 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,280 I'm with posh Georgian, Lord Posh. Tell me how posh are you? 480 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,120 I'm so posh I'm making George look common. 481 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:57,400 Oh that is quite posh. 482 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:01,200 [laughs] Oh! Right we're under fire, take cover, move, move. 483 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,680 Argh, someone's just thrown a dead cat at you. 484 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,680 Who's throwing dead cats at me? I shall have you flogged. 485 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,800 Eh, right we need to stay calm and take control of the situation. 486 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,520 -Oh! -They threw a dead dog at me. 487 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,160 Right we need to get you indoors, move, move, move. 488 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,000 In all my years of military training 489 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,600 well the two months I done before I got chucked out 490 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,320 I've never seen anything like it. 491 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,840 Georgian aristocrats only need to go outside to have unpleasant stuff 492 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,320 chucked at them by poor people. 493 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:33,600 Hm, for some reason poor people don't like us. I can't think why, the filthy scum. 494 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,360 -[glass shattering] -Oh! 495 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:40,240 [Johnny] First rule of living in a hostile environment, avoid detection. Right... 496 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:41,880 I'm must gonna check for poor people. 497 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:47,120 The coast is clear, time to move, we cross the road in three, two, one. 498 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,960 Go, go, go, go. 499 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,880 Some nasty urchin's just nailed my jacket to this barrel. 500 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,840 Oh! I shall have you flogged, you see if I don't. 501 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,360 This is proving to be a tough challenge, there's only one thing for it. 502 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:04,960 To get around town safely 503 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,600 Lord Posh is gonna need to get into a securer vehicle. 504 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,920 And here it is. Curtains so they can't see you inside, it's perfect. 505 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,040 -You'll be safer in here Posh. -I can't possibly travel around in that. 506 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,000 -My wig's far too big for it. -Well why don't you just take it off? 507 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:24,800 -What and look ridiculous. No thanks. -Oh, not me, I'm not posh. 508 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,200 Next week I'll be in the Viking era where I'll be showing women 509 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,520 how to stop a fight between feuding Vikings by chucking clothes on them. 510 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,760 Right, take it away boys, let's go, go, go. 511 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:37,800 Mind that horse. 512 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:43,280 Poor people really did throw dead dogs and dead cats at rich people. 513 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:49,560 Huh, it's raining cats and dogs, oh, literally. [laughs] 514 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:54,480 Although there were far more serious criminals at work in Georgian times. 515 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:58,800 [music playing] 516 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,560 [Georgian man] A fine mess we've got here and no mistake Dr. Motson. 517 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,520 Fear not your grace, my friend is the greatest detective in London 518 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,360 his powers of reason and deduction are second to none. 519 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,440 True enough Dr. Motson and he has been worth every penny we 520 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,480 and the government have paid him 521 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:18,960 but I fear this crime maybe beyond even the skills of Jonathan Wilde. 522 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,240 Greetings gentleman, shall we go to lunch. 523 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,560 For goodness sake Wilde there's a crime to be solved. 524 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,720 -Is the usual £40 fee available? -Oh course Wilde. 525 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:30,000 In which case he's cowering in that very cupboard. 526 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,040 But Wilde, how could you have known? 527 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:35,680 No one was seen leaving the building so the thief had to still be inside. 528 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,440 The thief had emptied all the drawers but the cupboard was closed. 529 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:42,640 Brilliant, you made a mistake when you crossed swords with Jonathan Wilde 530 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,080 [Motson] Thief Taker General. 531 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,640 Well I might not even when I let him tell me where to hide. 532 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,440 It was him what planned the whole robbery. 533 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,720 Then why on earth would he tell us where you were hiding? 534 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,440 -I believe you owe me £40 your Grace. -Of course Wilde. 535 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,800 Can't you see he's ripping you off. 536 00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:00,640 He's running every criminal in London then turning them in and collecting the reward. 537 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,560 Us thieves are all too scared to say anything 538 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,320 because he'll have us arrested and then collect another reward. 539 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,960 Do you take me for an idiot? Take him away. 540 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,400 Goodbye Sid, or whatever your name is. 541 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,200 Since you've became Thief Taker General 542 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,280 we've caught more criminals than ever before. 543 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,440 True enough, but I think we can do better. 544 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:23,600 We need a higher fee for catching them. Say £140 instead of just £40. 545 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:25,120 Done. 546 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,080 In fact using my powers of deduction I believe I can catch a few more. 547 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,200 Pat's under the desk, Mickey's hiding behind the bookshelf 548 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,520 and Dave is robbing someone in the street. Or he will be in a minute. I'm guessing about the names. 549 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,360 -[screaming] -Yes, brilliant Wilde. 550 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,520 It's almost as if you knew where they were hiding all along. 551 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,040 Three more finder's fees your Grace, at the higher rate. 552 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,440 Come Motson, the game is afoot 553 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,560 someone's about to attempt to steal the Crown Jewels. 554 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,440 -Who Wilde? -I don't know, I haven't hired him yet. 555 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:58,760 The money is waiting Wilde. Oh, Oh goodness, my wallet's gone. 556 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,320 I assume there's a finder's fee? 557 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,200 Oh. Wilde.